Girls, Gravy, and Gratitude🙏🏻

Welcome back fam!

I won’t make a habit of missing weeks, but life has unfortunately been a bit all-consuming as of late. I sat down to write last week, but I was so emotionally exhausted it was hard to pretend I was okay, much less articulate much of anything, and forcing myself to write about my mom’s favorite chili recipe or the new KONA qualifications changes (which I don’t quite understand, tbh), felt a little bit inauthentic and disconnected from what was currently going on in my life. This outlet, my very public personal journal/newsletter, has been helping me both work through and document my thoughts and progress creatively and honestly as I navigate this new chapter of my life. I want to keep it as real as possible on here because it loses meaning and value otherwise to me.

I will say, the past few weeks have shown me the positive impact endurance training and racing have had on my mind and my ability to regulate my thoughts in tough situations. I’ve learned how to sit in and accept the uncomfortable. The in-betweens, the limbo, the waiting periods, the unknown that can feel harder to navigate than the actual event or situation ahead of me. I used to lose myself during these moments, but endurance sports has not only given me an outlet, but shown me what it looks like to regulate my nervous system, breathe through discomfort, and keep moving even when the path forward isn’t clear.

As thanksgiving approaches, I have been reflecting on what I am most grateful for. This year, my gratitude list goes a bit deeper. I’m grateful for my health, my body’s ability to move, the clarity of my mind, the health of the people I love, and the friends and family who have supported me through one of the most transformative seasons of my life. I’m also deeply grateful for this community, a corner of the internet that has pushed me, challenged me, and helped me grow in ways I never expected.

On a day to day basis, especially in the chaos of this past year, small things can consume me, and I forget how much good is in my life. Thanksgiving, like many other holidays centered around family and friends, can be a reminder of loss or longing for so many people, even those closest to us. I think the biggest thing I’ve come to understand is to never assume to know anyone’s life or current reality. Kindness and patience to both strangers and the people you love can go much further than you realize, especially during the holidays. This can be hard to do when you’re running on empty with endless to-do lists and expectations, but it’s important to take a moment to slow down. The little things often get in the way of what you’re actually celebrating.

My “high school” friends and I had friendsgiving this past weekend. I put high school in quotes there because our catholic all girls school ran from K-12th grade and most of us attended almost all of those years together. I was in charge of the cornbread (and actually made it…with my hands..) and I won’t lie, almost everyone there was raving about it. I get distracted and lose patience too easily to usually cook or bake anything of value, but I found this recipe on TikTok and having a detailed video to follow saved me from disaster. It was so actually so easy to make (and that’s coming from me..) linking it below for anyone who wants to try it out this week!

It is both strange and wonderful to have had friends who’ve known me for essentially my entire life. From lower-school playdates to awkward middle-school dances, to high school sports, BOYS (the few we could find at our all-girls school…), SAT prep and college applications, post grad & moving away from home for the first time (and visiting each other all across the world), and now a season of engagements, weddings, new jobs, apartments, and degrees - we have been with each other through it all and somehow always find our way back to one another, no matter where life takes us. I truly do not know what I would do without these girls and the craziest part is that this school is literally the reason I exist. My mom taught first grade there in her twenties, and one of her students begged her to meet her uncle… who became my dad. And spoiler alert this was not a fairytale ending lol, but it did set the stage for my mom’s decision to send me to a school at age 6 that ended up shaping who I am today.

(you might, understandably, mistake this for all of our weddings - but this was in fact just our high school graduation, in wedding dresses✨)

I know there’s this pressure in your twenties to move far away from home and reinvent yourself (and trust me, that chapter has its place), but being home right now and getting this time to reconnect with so many people and places that shaped me as I navigate this next chapter of my life is an experience I personally would not trade for anything. It has made me all the more grateful for the countless blessings I have in my life.

OK this was a sappy one, but I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving full of so much yummy food it makes it hard for you to see your toes (and absolutely no regret in it), good times with the people you love most, and little moments of gratitude for things you don’t normally notice. I know I’m feeling extra grateful for all of you.

And with that, a quick announcement - Train Payne will be hosting another Q&A next Tuesday, December 2nd at 7 PM, and we’re opening it up to non members again. I’ll link the Zoom later this week. Come with any questions you have on endurance training and racing or just listen in. Can’t wait to see some new and familiar faces there!

Happy Eating🦃,
Caleigh